Truth Builds Connection

Well, My Mum Is 38!  I was recently taking football at a local school when, somehow, the conversation turned to the age of my work colleague and me. Curious, I asked one of the students whether they thought I was older or younger than their mum. The response was instant. "You're definitely much older than my mum because you have so many more wrinkles." I burst into laughter, as did my workmate. "You've got to love the honesty of a child," they said and I couldn't have agreed more.

It made me wonder about when we stop saying what we genuinely think and start saying what we think other people want to hear. Somewhere along the way, many of us learn to soften our opinions, avoid difficult conversations or tell people what we think will keep everyone comfortable. Often that comes from a good place. We don't want to hurt feelings or create conflict, but I also wonder what happens to trust when we stop being honest.

We're often told we're living in the most connected time in history, yet many people have never felt more disconnected. Perhaps real connection isn't built by always saying the "right" thing. Perhaps it's built by knowing that the people around us will be honest with us, while also being kind.

I had a beautiful friend who would often say exactly what they thought. I didn't always agree with them, and sometimes their honesty was hard to hear, but I trusted them completely. If I wanted a genuine answer, I knew I'd get one. There was something incredibly comforting about never having to wonder where I stood.

That made me think about our relationships, our workplaces and our communities. Trust grows when people feel safe to speak honestly and know they'll be listened to with respect. We don't have to agree with one another to build trust, but we do need to know we can have open conversations without fear of losing connection.

I'm still smiling about that student's comment. Not because they pointed out my wrinkles, but because there wasn't a hint of judgement or hidden agenda. It was simply their honest observation, and somehow that honesty made me laugh and feel connected.  I was not offended at all and totally appreciated them speaking their truth with kindness.

This week, if someone asks for your opinion, perhaps ask, "Would you like my honest thoughts?"  In addition, if you really value someone's perspective, let them know you're looking for honesty, not just reassurance.

After all, honesty delivered with kindness has a wonderful way of building something we all need a little more of, and that is trust.